Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Absolute Non-Democracry

Why is it that humans sometimes... expect everyting but want to give nothing? I pose that question to you the reader. Why? I know that I suffer from that infectious desease of humanism in my own life. I just don't know how to get rid of it. I see myself in slow motion making certain un-rational judgments, but yet I can't seem to find an emergancy break or eject button any where. I think life gets harder as we grow up not because there are more decisions, but we start to understand the gravity of the decisions we make. In some schools of thought, deciding to get a cup of coffee or not in the morning could be the very choice that keeps you from potentially meeting your soul mate... or losing your life. We have a frail existance here in this world and the couterbalance of our actions is great!

So think before you get out of bed....or open the door....and take that first step...

Cat's Cradle Presents

for a good time call 1-900-mute-math!

they were absolutly amazing. what a great way to spend $10. Check out my magnetic poetry section under writing to read my latest work. broken flowers...very interesting... i think im going to have to watch it again...before i can form an opinion. anyways... goodnight for now...

im looking for another job... this is a big option.... Whole Foods

Billy Steele is ganna live with me in Raleigh. We need an apartment now.... welcome to the quest....

Monday, February 27, 2006

Friday, February 24, 2006

1492 Columbus Sails the Ocean Blue.

i'm sitting here in western civ. and thinking about leaving school. i am two months away from the possibility of never being in school again. thou i feel like i'm ready for it, how does one's mind wrap around such a change. as of may i will have been in school for 20 years. Thats all but the first 3 years of my life, and suddenly i'm going to no school and all work and owing way more money than i've ever had at one time. no wonder people my age have such a hard time adjusting to adult life! school is all we have ever known.

i mean i'm def. lucky in this area since i already have a job for may and its only .... the end of Feb. lots of my friends struggle for months trying to find jobs. vintage21 is amazing. not only are they taking care of me but they are helping me try and find other part time work. matt & tyler are amazing! i have never felt so at home & happy at a church than at v21. tyler's sermons are really thought provoking and i love the style of worship. but in all honesty, the real reason for my love of v21 is the fact that the community of v21 loves to study the life of jesus. growing up i grew tired of hearing "this moving is bad because:" or "you shouldn't date because:" or "relationships are bad because:" it was always bad bad bad don't do this... don't do that.... that gets really old after a while. i mean sometimes people need a reality check but.. not EVERY sunday. ok... stepping down off the soap box now....

life is going to be weird without scott concert hall & ellis theatre in my life as well. i know those theaters like the back of my hands. i hope someone comes along behind me that cares about them as much as i do, but who knows if that will ever happen. it's going to feel weird coming down to visit from time to time... and seeing if this change...or stay the way i left them...

ok enough... reminiscing for one... blog.

Thursday, February 23, 2006


hahah thats a very funny blog. well funny and not. i feel like that a lot. i often wish i could just push the mute button of life... or pause... but unfortunatly... no such button or control exists and for now... the picture... is headed towards... the sleep chapter.....

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Jimmy Eat World - 23

I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
Im still driving away
And Im sorry every day
I wont always love these selfish things
I wont always live...
Stop it...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
Ill be 23
I wont always love what Ill never have
I wont always live in my regrets

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...


im so frustrated with life right now....i want to be shot in the head....

world religions

this test... is going to be the bain of my existance until after its over.... thrusday @ 3. sigh... ohhhh 2 be able to have photographic memory right now....

well... no luck on the photo memory...but i have learned a lot of good ways to waste time in the last day or two.... customizing my computer.... icons included...organizing all my files into year month an day.... ex. [2006.02.22 word file.doc]

i think i have reached a new level of ocd... jeff says im no ocd... just board.
i like to go with bi-polar at least to some degree... but at least... if i can stay anal when im starting work at vintage that will greatly help me.

i have to work on my support letter a tad bit more... now that my computer is all organized. ok so the main reason i think i might be switching to blogger over xanga is the fact that.... i i can use "mac journal" to mail my journal entries off... and i can do this offline... i dont know... maybe it cheapens the experience... i will try it for a few days at least.

i have decided that i need to get in better shape... starting with eating better. so here goes.

ok must go to sleep now... early morning meeting for coffee...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Urban Dictionary: Cola

noun. 1. Acronym for a Conor Oberst Look Alike.
2. Typically dark hair covering face, pale, and skinny.

Conor Oberst is an indie rock musician of the band Bright Eyes often made fun of for the number of young girls who seem to like him just for his good looks.

Julie: You're hawt. You are such a cola!
Tim: Do I look that malnourished?