Saturday, December 16, 2006

things to do in 2007

1. start a writers collective with jeff lail and billy boyce.
2. get my vintage21 work done on time.
3. listen to at least 5 sermon podcasts a week.
4. start blogging regurly.
5. start podcasting.
6. think of lots of new and great things to do with vintage21
7. talk jeff into living with me and helping out with booking and publicity for v21 concerts.
8. work on a strategic plan for how to start Large v21 concert series as well as birth v21 records.
9. incorperate my personal recording into v21 records
10. pass off feedback mixing to someone else.
11. talk matt into having a design team person (revamp all power point slides. backgrounds and all and take that over as a deacon.
12. get our band music way more organized.
13. help v21 get into a new space and make it extremely apealing to families, college kids, 20 somethings and bands.
14. book bands like roman candle, iron and wine, copeland, and mae for shows.
15. make my time with god more deep.
16. read at least 10 pages a day. (12 books a year at minimal)
17. read books on the list for eldership. (get those from matt)
18. read specificly (new kind of christian, mere christianity)
19. go to new years in nyc
20. visit st. louis with billy boyce.
21. seatle with jeff in december of 07
22. plan out new v21 space from a tech side.
23. talk to jason jones or jesse about what we can do as far as a v21 computer network.
24. get v21 songs and powerppoint and music all up to date on everyone's computer
25. go to a canes game.
26. become financially stable from vintage21 pay.
27. knock out credit card debit.
28. figure out other ways to make money on the side witout killing myself to knock the debit out.
29. become more decisive

the three year plan has begun
more to come later...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

duct tape

so i have been dealing with a clogged drain for like weeks now and its been driving me crazy. i dont know why but all my efforts to fix it have renderede me useless. (i even bought draino. finally this morning it hits me. put duct tape over the overflow hole and use the plunger. A HA! clear sailing now. It works like a brand new drain now.

duct tape. its good stuff.

of couse the part that i left out from this story is where i tried the plunger a week ago without the duct tape. oh my ... disaster. dirty water every freekin where.

this experience is sorta like my life. i don't put restraints on things and i tend to just go everywhere i can. it takes me really working hard and almost closing off some pathways for me to be able to focus on the few things i know i need to be doing.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


making a webpage is possibly one of the most annoying things on the face of the earth

Sunday, October 08, 2006

green like grass

i was talking to my friend jeff tonight and he wanted me to write down this statement that i made. i said that:

sometimes i really feel like God is just Fucking with me, but then i realize that He would never do that. I'm the one that looks at the situations i'm in, make my own conclusions instead of listening and in inturn end up screwing myself.


basically i have been thinking about life a lot lately. your probably thinking to yourself AND... but to be honest i have never been what i would call a quote unquote "thinker." but for some reason i just can't seem to slow down that little pea sized brain of mine. this could maybe be attributed to several things: first i've been reading blue like jazz by donald miller ( a quite amazing book which i chat with my vintage21 mentor, matt stevens, about weekly), second, the fact that i was listening to npr and student radio a LOT more than usual now that 88.1 comes in loud and clear. thirdly, (and the scariest of them all) maybe i'm just growing up and its just one of those things you do.

this new trend in my life thou startling is actually quite wonderful. i have always longed to be more intellectual than i have been in the past few years. in high school i had this overwhelming desire like most people, to fit in. what a shitty desire i must say. i mean REALLY, i must say that was probably one of the worst things i have ever wanted in my entire life, other the time that i wanted to try and jump across the creek behind my house around age 11 in the dead of winter. it was a great idea, but the position with which i landed being in the creek and not safe and dry on the other side of the bank was quite unwelcoming especially being about a mile away from any source of "indoor warmth."

as i was listening to npr about 2 days ago there was this wonderful commentary on "internet blogs. since this being an internet blog, and i being the fascinated person that i am with the world of bloging (which i feel its a shame there has been a lull among the people that i know bloging lately, damn the business of life) found this little side note of a talk on npr very fascinating. they defiantly made the statement that everyone that has a blog seems to think that they are some amazing journalist when it comes to sitting in front of they keyboard and hacking out their daily memories. (ps. my version of this paraphrased quote is way better stated and worded then the actual npr quote, maybe npr will now pay ME royalties). anyways to expand on that just a little bit more...

good old webster's dictionary defines journalist as:

Function: noun
1 a : a person engaged in journalism; especially : a writer or editor for a news medium b : a writer who aims at a mass audience
2 : a person who keeps a journal

so in fact npr was right based on mr. webster. they were obviously making fun of the world of bloging saying that people take themselves and their blog's way to seriously but i am starting to realize the fulfillment of writing in them. i used to journal a lot on xanga. i had probably hundreds of entries. and i thought to myself one day "this is a waste of my time," so i stopped for a long while with the occasional blog. but really there has been a hiatus in my life as far as my bloging goes. life has been crazy lately. in many ways from breaking up with a girl a few months back to finding a new love interest in a good friend just as of recently. life sometimes has a way of surprising you. sometimes its really hard to figure out what it is we are really doing here or what we want in life and sometimes things just fall in your lap. who knows how long my current circumstances will stay on track before swerving like a drunk driver madly into a tree. maybe months years or even until after my death. i don't claim to be a fortune teller, mind reader, maybe, but fortune teller, defiantly not!

in the mean time. life has me still sorting out the old with the new and trying to figure out how to "organize my sock drawer." i find this analogy sorta funny. i mean i know i'm anal at times but there is no anal person on the planet i know who really sits down and organizes his sock drawer. thats sort of symbolic in my own life of the fact that i usually just move on without really trying to sort things out. and later in the midst of the troubles i decide NOW IS A GOOD TIME. you could say i'm slightly ahead of the game. maybe because of wisdom from past mistakes or maybe just the mentorship of a few good friends who council me pretty regularly.

needless to say life has not been easy but rewarding. the new movie in theaters called the science of sleep really touches on a lot of great points which i will probably talk about in a later blog. but for now i will leave you with one of them: never grow too old or too afraid of your childhood imagination. it's a force that brought many great humans to new heights and dreams that could never have been achieved if they had talked themselves into regurgitating what was given to them by the world around them. the histories of past failures became an obtainable goal instead of an dark void in their lives.

The brain is the most complex thing in the universe, and it’s right behind the nose.”
-- Stéphane (Gael García Bernal), The Science of Sleep

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

they'll never hurt you like i do...

I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but I'm slipping in between
you and your big dreams
it's always you
in my big dreams

and you tell me that it's over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and you're restless, and I'm naked
you've gotta get out
you can't stand to see me shaking
could you let me go?
I didn't think so

and you don't wanna be here in the future
so you say the present's just a pleasant interruption to the past
and you don't wanna look much closer
cuz your afraid to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
and it did
because of me

and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
and I'm sleeping in your living room
but we don't have much room to live

I had these dreams in them I learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that I could take you there
but dammit you're so young
well I don't think I care
and if I hurt you
then I'm sorry
please don't think that this was easy

then you'd bring me home
cuz we both know what it's like to be alone
and I'm dreaming in your living room
but we don't have much room to live

and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear
and I was thinking
what I was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere

my konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that I could do is touch her long blonde hair
and I've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere

this is because I can spell konfusion with a k
and I can like it
it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it
it's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car
when the first star you see may not be a star
I'm not your star
isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant

and if this is what it takes
just to lie with my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
and now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine

my konstantine, they'll never hurt you like I do
no they'll never hurt you like I do
no, no, no no no no no no

this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
you know
you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all these fucked up things I did
you could keep me up in bed
my Konstantine
you spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
and I said
did you know I missed you? (x7)
I miss you

and then you bring me home
and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no
and you'll kiss me in your living room
I know
you'll miss me in your living room
cuz these nights I think maybe that I'll miss you in my living room
we don't have much room
I said does anybody need that room?
because we all need alittle more room
to live

my Konstantine

Thursday, July 13, 2006

there and back again... a vintage tale

so the last 2 weeks have been a frenzy of emotions and many other things. being away from your girlfriend can be a real hastle but also a learning experience. i really think this time away from each other thou really hard, is really good for us both. we need to be able to operate idependantly but also together and it seems like we are totally starting to get a grasp on that. who knew how much reading the bible daily could change everything from the way u react to the guy that cuts you off first thing to just being happy about going into work. i mean i do work at a church but i mean even that can get stressfull at times. im really thankfull for the people around me and my current situation thou its not campbell and im the new fish in the bowl its nice to have new experiences (hard but nice). today i ate lunch with andrew at this old bowling alley. it was great. i think im ganna try and go bowling there sometime soon. or def. take ash when she gets back into town. there are so many little places like that to find here in this little area code they call raleigh. i need to spend my time enjoying the little things and stop freeking out about the big picture.

im reading this book called The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning right now. tyler jones my paster read it when he first got into the ministry and it totally changed his outlook. im really excited about reading it. i havent gotten too far into it yet but... since im reading it for work i need to get on it. i'm also reading another book called Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen. i'll talk about that later. maybe thats why i never finish books i start reading one and then i jump to the next... eh.. i guess im an add reader. nothing really new. well its back to folding kids brochures for now at the good old office/closet @ v21.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


so tonight was owners night. a little bit hectic but fun all the same. matt spoke on worship and i think it was a much needed message for v21. anyways i got suckered into more printing on top of all the crap i already have to do this week. ive been slacking off so far with all the visitors i've been having so im ganna have to bust my butt the rest of the week... well at least after billy leaves tomorrow. anyways. good night of chatting and hanging out at the village draft house. goodnight to all.


Sunday, June 25, 2006

. the little light bulb that could

working on the glass menagerie has been a rewarding experience, but a long and gruling process. and im tired. i was reminded of why i love and hate theatre. i really think that is part of the reason why i have been so up and down emotionally. not to mention ashleigh being back in hawaii while i am stuck here, plus everything around me changing. wow. i dont really know what to think about it all. other than im sorta in aww of this recent life change. i dont really necessarily like it. in fact in a lot of ways its just plain scary. but i keep getting told that i am doing fine. i dont really feel fine, but i dont really know whats normal. i guess this is normal. i mean def. dont have a normal job. so i dont know that i could really feel normal at any point. anyways. enough about that.

i have been walking like i did in college now. its good for my health, but tiring. david was telling me today at the show that when he was younger, he and his buddy would walk all over the place. it was funny. he was like jeremy you must have walked like 6 miles today... i didnt really realize that but i guess he was right. go me. :) anyways after all that crazy walking i got to have great pizza at this really fun restaurant. (lilly's)

Saturday, June 24, 2006

. tattoo

i had dinner with neal from tattoo zoo the other night and i remembered that i never showed people ash and my tattoos so here goes...

had to finish up with a cute pic of ash.

. so tired

why is it that every night i stay up so late. i guess i feel like there is so much to learn and find out and i feel like i need to stretch my time to the very last second. why is it that i dont feel that fever for knowledge in the morning. all i can seem to think about then is ... how comfee my bed feels. haha ... what a strange world i live in. just got a new baby nalgene bottle. andrew was trying to get me to get a "cheap" bottle from target, but there is something about the size of the baby nalgine that i really like dont ask me why but its true. who knows. maybe i'm on crack but i know i really like them. they are so much better than the big ones. ok so andrew was like jeremy i am handing over total control of the design of the living room to you. so i now get to figure out where everything is going.

v21 is going really well other than... money. i really need to make more phone calls. but its so scary and i hate doing it. i couldnt really talk to people this week about it because of the shows every night. anyways. we will see what happens. im not really sure at this point. but i guess i will figure something out or work more than one job, which is currently happening. anyways. i am ganna run i guess for the eveing.


ps. google is probably one of the most amazing companies in the entire world. just a thought.

Friday, June 16, 2006

. first day of normalcy

i think i may be back on nc time finally. last night i started getting sleepy at like 11pm. i was actually in bed by 12.30. for those of you who dont know how late i staay up normally even that is early for me. so far i have eaten breakfast and lunch. i really like the local library its really cool. i will def. be doing a lot of work there. lunch with my roomie was good. i think the nc state cafe is slightly better than cu's but maybe its just cause i ate @ cu's so much. anyways. it has been a nice change for the day. now its time to head down to the good old alma mater and get some po box stuff straight.


im here sitting at my desk working away at trying to figure out when im doing what where as far as this job goes. its sorta fun but frustrating at the same time, but i know i need a scheduel cause without one i am ganna be lost at sea. anyways its bet time.

Monday, June 12, 2006

. sigh

. hawaiian fact of the day

Poi is a Hawaiian word for the primary Polynesian staple food made from the corm of the kalo plant (known widely as taro). Poi is produced by mashing the cooked corm (baked or steamed) to a highly viscous fluid. Water is added during mashing and again just before eating, to achieve a desired consistency.

The bowl of poi was considered so important and sacred a part of daily Hawaiian life that whenever a bowl of poi was uncovered at the family dinner table, it was believed that the spirit of Hāloa, the ancestor of the Hawaiian people, was present. This is because Hawaiians believed that the taro plant, or kalo, was the original ancestor of the Hawaiian people. Because of that, all conflict among family members had to come to an immediate halt.

Most first-time tasters describe poi as resembling library paste—more an allusion to the texture than the flavor, which is delicate. Poi is an acquired taste, but quickly makes converts of those who persist.

The flavor changes distinctly once the poi has been made. Fresh poi is sweet and excellent all by itself. Each day thereafter the poi loses sweetness and turns slightly sour. Because of this, some people find poi more palatable when it is mixed with milk and/or sugar, although purists frown on this. The speed of this fermentation process depends upon the bacteria level in the poi. The bacteria is harmless, and some would even say beneficial. To slow the souring process, poi should be stored in a cool, dark location (such as a kitchen cupboard). Poi stored in the refrigerator should be squeezed out of the bag into a bowl, and a thin layer of water drizzled over the top to keep a crust from forming.

Sour poi is still quite edible with salted fish or lomi salmon on the side. Some would reasonably argue that poi is inedible beyond five days. Sourness is prevented by freezing or dehydrating, although the resulting poi tends to be bland in comparison with the fresh product. For best thawing results place in a microwave with a layer of tap water over the surface of the frozen poi. Sour poi is also an excellent cooking ingredient, particularly in breads and rolls. It has a smooth, creamy "mouth feel," but no fat.

Shortages in taro production in recent years due to pests and labor shortages have also resulted in shortages and higher prices for poi in Hawai‘i. At the same time, innovations in poi production have resulted in poi that stays fresh longer and tastes sweeter, but such products generally sell at a premium price and require refrigeration.

Poi has been used as a milk substitute for babies born with an allergy to dairy products because of its nutritional value. It is also used as a baby food for babies with severe food allergies.

Poi should not be confused with Tahitian po'e, which is a sweet, pudding-like dish made with bananas, papaya, or mangoes cooked with manioc and coconut cream.

. cat naps

all that hiking tires you out. i really don't know what alex's excuse was...

. must be the poi

awww how cute is that!

. watch those hips

certified to swing my hips in hula fassion. i sure know how to stir that poi!

i think i earned the name kelemi that night!

. the sam face

i sure miss them. i found out pretty quick what having sisters would have been like. there is nothing like hearing a fight upstairs and knowing that you want to go NOWHERE near the stairs!

. thats no post card

. no trade winds

well after my long hawaiian get-away i am now back in nc and a little sad to be over 4,000 miles away from my girlfriend & her friends and family. i love them all and miss them a lot. but i have to work and pay bills so here i am back in the real world. too bad the real word is 2 hours from wrightsville beach. im determined im ganna try and surf this summer, but we'll see what happens. anyways. i'm still stuck on hawaii time, which is ok for the days i work late, but wed. when we have prayer at 7.30 im going to be hurting. world cup watching with the guys in the am and then... staff meeting in the late afternoon. who knows what after that. oh well anyways, im off to bed.

. kelemi

Monday, March 27, 2006

i found a lot of great blogs today i'm very happy with.

im encouraging all my friends to try and support fair trade merch. for at least a week. so i have been looking for a great way to excercise for a while now and i have finally found the answer. i have been playing disk golf for a few weeks now and i am really starting to become so fun. every time i play i enjoy it so much. and i feel like i keep getting better. i keep seing guys that can twirl the disks on the fingers.. it looks really cool... i feel very blessed to have several great cources right near me.

uh... classes are ganna come... to fast.. the weekend sure flew by...

oh well goodnight.

ps read my comment in refrence to that nyc poem to make sense of it... i really dont have bad taste in poetry i promise... its the concept ... jsut check out the comment... and u'll understand

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

i loved project runway until today....what a terrible decision... who chose those stupid judges. they were all wrong... santino and daniel are ganna be the icons not cloe...

ok so maybe that was a little harsh...but... i was just sad ... i really enjoyed nicks 13th dress that he helped daniel with... nick is a great designer...

he andrae daniel and santino were great people to watch.

A poem i read....

Poem Across the City - Bryant Park, NY 8-28-04

Sky blue
So is NYC too



Beauty is running through he jungle in the night

Sticky icky

Be silent


Send the son of a Bush home


Chara & Daddy
No more Bush

Universal Survey Peace Together

This river of comtemplation will survive

NYC is nice & me too

Food for all

America is a smoke screen
¡Que vivan Las Americas!

America is crazy

Happy to make a pink exploding idea of change now talk to one another

Happy Day is here

I wanted to say something but why should I want to

Like a mighty octopus America reigns almighty

Everyone is beautiful even…you

First time in NYC

Bush go home. Word

Bush needs to find better business

Drop down. Drop Bush. Drop words on the sidewalk.

Forget the world
The mic is yours

George Bush bugger off

Recover initiative

Break with the conversation

My Name

Speak Out



Destroy Apathy


Bugger OFF W

O'rielly Says
"Shut up!"

Take it


keep your
eyes open




= Marriage
4 (2 female signs) (2 male signs)
(female + male)












Believe! Enjoy! Fight!





NYC = smile


I Love




the heat



Peace in the


Energy Is

GOOD People

More Trees

Bush Think
About US!

My name
Is Janieu

Eyes open

I'm voting
Against the
Evil - Bush

None is
out for
Justice - Tosh

Peace, love
Ms. Sophie


Shamone, Nic

© illegal art 2006

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Absolute Non-Democracry

Why is it that humans sometimes... expect everyting but want to give nothing? I pose that question to you the reader. Why? I know that I suffer from that infectious desease of humanism in my own life. I just don't know how to get rid of it. I see myself in slow motion making certain un-rational judgments, but yet I can't seem to find an emergancy break or eject button any where. I think life gets harder as we grow up not because there are more decisions, but we start to understand the gravity of the decisions we make. In some schools of thought, deciding to get a cup of coffee or not in the morning could be the very choice that keeps you from potentially meeting your soul mate... or losing your life. We have a frail existance here in this world and the couterbalance of our actions is great!

So think before you get out of bed....or open the door....and take that first step...

Cat's Cradle Presents

for a good time call 1-900-mute-math!

they were absolutly amazing. what a great way to spend $10. Check out my magnetic poetry section under writing to read my latest work. broken flowers...very interesting... i think im going to have to watch it again...before i can form an opinion. anyways... goodnight for now...

im looking for another job... this is a big option.... Whole Foods

Billy Steele is ganna live with me in Raleigh. We need an apartment now.... welcome to the quest....

Monday, February 27, 2006

Friday, February 24, 2006

1492 Columbus Sails the Ocean Blue.

i'm sitting here in western civ. and thinking about leaving school. i am two months away from the possibility of never being in school again. thou i feel like i'm ready for it, how does one's mind wrap around such a change. as of may i will have been in school for 20 years. Thats all but the first 3 years of my life, and suddenly i'm going to no school and all work and owing way more money than i've ever had at one time. no wonder people my age have such a hard time adjusting to adult life! school is all we have ever known.

i mean i'm def. lucky in this area since i already have a job for may and its only .... the end of Feb. lots of my friends struggle for months trying to find jobs. vintage21 is amazing. not only are they taking care of me but they are helping me try and find other part time work. matt & tyler are amazing! i have never felt so at home & happy at a church than at v21. tyler's sermons are really thought provoking and i love the style of worship. but in all honesty, the real reason for my love of v21 is the fact that the community of v21 loves to study the life of jesus. growing up i grew tired of hearing "this moving is bad because:" or "you shouldn't date because:" or "relationships are bad because:" it was always bad bad bad don't do this... don't do that.... that gets really old after a while. i mean sometimes people need a reality check but.. not EVERY sunday. ok... stepping down off the soap box now....

life is going to be weird without scott concert hall & ellis theatre in my life as well. i know those theaters like the back of my hands. i hope someone comes along behind me that cares about them as much as i do, but who knows if that will ever happen. it's going to feel weird coming down to visit from time to time... and seeing if this change...or stay the way i left them...

ok enough... reminiscing for one... blog.

Thursday, February 23, 2006


hahah thats a very funny blog. well funny and not. i feel like that a lot. i often wish i could just push the mute button of life... or pause... but unfortunatly... no such button or control exists and for now... the picture... is headed towards... the sleep chapter.....

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Jimmy Eat World - 23

I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
Im still driving away
And Im sorry every day
I wont always love these selfish things
I wont always live...
Stop it...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
Ill be 23
I wont always love what Ill never have
I wont always live in my regrets

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...


im so frustrated with life right now....i want to be shot in the head....

world religions

this test... is going to be the bain of my existance until after its over.... thrusday @ 3. sigh... ohhhh 2 be able to have photographic memory right now....

well... no luck on the photo memory...but i have learned a lot of good ways to waste time in the last day or two.... customizing my computer.... icons included...organizing all my files into year month an day.... ex. [2006.02.22 word file.doc]

i think i have reached a new level of ocd... jeff says im no ocd... just board.
i like to go with bi-polar at least to some degree... but at least... if i can stay anal when im starting work at vintage that will greatly help me.

i have to work on my support letter a tad bit more... now that my computer is all organized. ok so the main reason i think i might be switching to blogger over xanga is the fact that.... i i can use "mac journal" to mail my journal entries off... and i can do this offline... i dont know... maybe it cheapens the experience... i will try it for a few days at least.

i have decided that i need to get in better shape... starting with eating better. so here goes.

ok must go to sleep now... early morning meeting for coffee...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Urban Dictionary: Cola

noun. 1. Acronym for a Conor Oberst Look Alike.
2. Typically dark hair covering face, pale, and skinny.

Conor Oberst is an indie rock musician of the band Bright Eyes often made fun of for the number of young girls who seem to like him just for his good looks.

Julie: You're hawt. You are such a cola!
Tim: Do I look that malnourished?